Motherhood is a journey filled with joy, laughter, and, of course, the occasional toddler tantrum. As an experienced mom, I’ve learned that handling those moments when your little one pushes you away during times of distress requires a delicate balance of understanding and firmness.
In this article, we’ll explore why sometimes toddlers push us away when upset and share some practical tips on how to navigate these tricky situations.
Understanding the behavior:
Toddlers are tiny bundles of emotions, and sometimes, those emotions can be overwhelming for them.
When your toddler pushes you away during a tantrum, it’s often a sign that they’re struggling to cope with their feelings.
Their emotional toolkit is still in the early stages of development, and they may struggle to express their feelings effectively.
It’s crucial to remember that your toddler is not intentionally hurting your feelings.
Instead, they are simply trying to cope with their emotions in the best way they know how.
Key point:
When your toddler pushes you away when upset, it’s often a sign that they’re struggling to cope with their feelings.
They are not intentionally hurting you but it’s still important to make sure they know their boundaries.
Tips for Dealing with a Pushing Toddler:
Follow these simple tips to deal with this situation.
Stay Calm and Firm:
While it’s crucial to stay calm, it’s equally important to be firm when setting boundaries. Make it clear that pushing or hurting is not acceptable behavior.
Use a firm but gentle tone to communicate that while you understand their emotions, physical aggression is not the way to express them.
Validate Their Feelings:
Even though your toddler may not have the words to express their emotions fully, acknowledging their feelings can go a long way.
Use simple and reassuring phrases like, “I see that you’re upset,” or “It’s okay to feel this way.”
Validating their emotions helps them understand that it’s normal to feel upset and that you are there to support them.
Teach Alternative Expressions:
Help your toddler learn alternative ways to express their emotions.
Encourage the use of words or gentle gestures to communicate their feelings.
Use phrases like, “Tell Mommy what’s wrong,” or “Show me how you feel with words instead of pushing.”
Use Simple Language:
When communicating with your toddler, use simple and easy-to-understand words. Avoid lengthy explanations and instead focus on short, clear sentences.
This helps your child better grasp what you’re saying and reduces frustration on both sides.
Respecting Boundaries:
Respecting your toddler’s boundaries is crucial; if they push you away and prefer not to be touched during moments of distress, it’s okay to give them space.
Allowing them this freedom to navigate their emotions independently fosters a sense of autonomy and self-regulation.
Let them stay free for some time, they will eventually come to you for comfort.
Create a Safe Space:
Establish a designated safe space where your toddler can retreat when feeling overwhelmed.
Fill this area with comforting items, such as soft blankets or favorite toys.
Encourage your child to use this space as a retreat when they need a moment to collect themselves.
Provide Distractions:
Sometimes, toddlers push away as a way of seeking space.
Offering a distraction, such as a favorite toy or a simple activity, can help redirect their attention and diffuse the tension.
Engage them in something they enjoy to shift their focus away from the source of their upset.
This post may contain affiliate links. Full disclosure here.
How to teach a toddler to cope with overwhelming feelings
Here I will not share a bunch of tips, instead, I will talk about the only thing that worked for us and a lot of other parents.
- “Storybooks and toys that teach about emotions”
Using storybooks and toys about feelings has been a blast in my parenting adventure!
These cool tools help my kiddo understand emotions, talk about them, and even play them out.
We read stories with characters feeling all sorts of things, and it’s like a fun emotional adventure.
It’s not just about learning; it’s about giggles, chats, and finding new ways to handle feelings.
Let me share my winner:
A Little SPOT of Emotion (the 8 emotions set)
This 8-book set called “A Little SPOT of Emotion” is awesome for kids. Each book, like “A Little SPOT of Anger” or “A Little SPOT of Happiness,” is like a friend explaining one feeling.
I’ve seen how these books help kids understand emotions better. They’re not just stories; they give real tools to handle feelings, which is super helpful for little ones.
It’s a fun and smart way to learn about being happy, mad, calm, and all the other emotions!
I highly recommend getting this set for your little one to better cope with overwhelming emotions.
Another featured storybook that will teach your child that hands are not for hitting:
“Hands Are Not for Hitting” is a transformative children’s book by Martine Agassi, Ph.D., that empowers young readers to channel their emotions positively and embrace kindness.
Through engaging illustrations and compelling narratives, it guides children towards constructive actions, fostering an environment of respect and peaceful conflict resolution.
A must-have for every family’s library, this book is a crucial tool for nurturing compassionate and understanding individuals.
Get the book “hands are not for hitting” HERE.
Conclusion:
In a nutshell, when your toddler pushes you away in frustration, it’s all part of their growing-up journey.
Stay cool, validate those little emotions, and teach them some tricks to express feelings. Build a strong bond, keep things consistent, and throw in some positive vibes.
Remember, you’re not alone—toddlerhood is a wild ride, and seeking advice when needed is totally cool!
I have got a lot more cool stuff about toddlers. Check out here.
