The Ferber method is a well-known sleep training method. Many parents swear by it. However, if you are wondering if you can sleep train with the Ferber method when the baby sleeps in the same room, read this article.
We’ll talk about following this method for the baby who shares the room with parents. I will also suggest another sleep training method that is suitable for this situation.
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Can You Follow the Ferber Method When Baby Sleeps In The Same Room?
Following the Ferber method in the same room as yours can become very complicated for both of you. The training will lose its true essence and effectiveness. Also, you cannot properly do the waiting intervals since the child will be in the same room knowing your presence.
Your child will not settle down as they know that you are present but not comforting them.
However, if parents do not have any other option then they can try applying the Ferber method in the same room by using the below options.
Following the Ferber method for the baby in the same room:
It will be complicated to follow the Ferber method when the baby is in the same room but if you still want to use this method; you can do it with simple modifications.
- You can put a room divider curtain between the crib and your bed so that it gives a feel of separation.
You can find some very good dividers on Amazon. Just like this one:
- You can stay out of the room during the initial nights and train the baby first. Once the child gets hold of self-soothing, you can shift back to the room and continue the training till the end.
Alternative sleep training technique for the baby in the same room:
The Ferber method is usually one of the most common methods of sleep training however, it isn’t the only good option.
I’m going to suggest some great sleep training methods to use when the baby sleeps in the same room.
1- Disappearing chair method:
In the Chair Method, a chair is put close to the baby’s bed or crib. A parent sits on the chair while the baby goes to sleep. They don’t pick the baby up, but they’re there to make the baby feel safe.
As time goes on, the parent moves the chair away bit by bit, so the baby gets used to sleeping without them being so close.
As days pass, the baby learns to sleep without always needing to be held or touched. It helps babies become better at falling asleep on their own.
2- Pick up, put down method:
In this method, parents offer much closer comfort to a crying child they pick the child up from his crib/bed and comfort him or make him sleepy in their arms and put him back in his crib once he settles or is drowsy. This method is considered to be the gentlest sleep training process and it also helps parents to make a child sleep in their bed.
What I suggest:
Since both methods (chair method and pick up put down method) have their struggles, I suggest going with the disappearing chair method because you are there for your baby but do not provide intense comfort. You are following “the fading approach” that is always effective yet easy on the baby.
In the pick-up, put-down method, you are providing intense comforting so it will be harder for the baby to settle down in the crib. This method may take so long to sleep-train the baby.
Step-by-step method of Sleep training a baby who shares the room:
Since this training will be happening in your room, all you need is a separate bed/crib for your child and a curtain between your and the child’s bed. A chair that makes you comfortable during the comfort time and can be easily moved in the room.
DAY 1:
1- Start the sleep training after doing all the bedtime rituals you do with your child. When it is almost sleeping time, put the child in the bed drowsy and not sleeping. Sit by his bedside and start to pat him or comfort him so that he goes to sleep. Once the child is sleepy (settled), get up and go to your bed.
2- When you hear your child crying if he gets up in the middle of the night, just go by his bedside and sit on the chair, and comfort him verbally first. The verbal sentences should be concise like “Go to sleep”, “It’s sleeping time”, “Don’t cry, mama is right here” etc.
3- Once the child goes back to sleep, get up and go to your bed again.
4- Repeat the same pattern if the child gets up again at night.
5- If your child is a walking child, try to put a bed/crib from which he cannot come out, but if it’s easy for the child to come out of the bed and come to yours, then you have to take him back to his bed, sit by his side and comfort him physically and verbally until he sleeps again.
DAY 2 and 3:
1- Be in the same spot where you were on day 1 and repeat all the steps as it is.
DAY 4:
1- From day 4 gradually distance your chair from the child’s bed.
2- Once you put the child in the bed for sleep, go and sit on the chair and assure him you are sitting here to watch him sleep. If the child protests for physical comfort, then give him some comfort and go back to the chair again. Chances are there that this time he will sleep.
3- Repeat all the steps the same as day 1 for the rest of the night.
Now the rule is to gradually increase the distance of your chair each night, this means you are fading from the picture gradually not suddenly. This gives a sense of protection to the child that his parents are just around when they are going to bed or wake up at night.
Quick tips for sleep training in the same room:
Here are a few quick tips to sleep train your baby in the same room.
1- Schedule is super important:
If the baby is used to sleeping at the same time each day, it will be much easier to sleep-train the baby. They will naturally fall asleep at that fixed time.
2- Do not rush to comfort:
Every little cry or movement doesn’t need comforting. Give some time for the little one to settle down before comforting.
3- Create a separate sleeping space in the room:
Add a crib or bed in the room if you dont have another sleeping space.
4- Move the baby’s crib/bed further away from you:
Keep a good distance between your bed and the child’s crib.
5- Avoid intense comforting:
Avoid picking up, rocking, swinging, or putting the child to sleep in arms.
6- Use a white noise machine for sound sleep:
So that both of you cannot hear each other unwanted sounds that disturb the sleep. Click here to get white noise machine on Amazon.
7- Be consistent and patient:
Room-sharing sleep training can be longer than usual sleep training so dont give up and give a good time of about 2 weeks to see any results.
8- The room should have a sleeping environment:
The room should be silent. There should be no disturbance. Use blackout curtains if outside lights make the room brighter.
9- Bedtime rituals for peaceful sleep:
A warm bath, massage, breathable clothes, and lots of cuddles would sleep in a peaceful night’s sleep.
10- Take care of the hunger cues:
Note the night feeding timings and feed the baby accordingly. You can dream of feeding the baby as well.
Bonus tip:
Massage the baby before bedtime with a massage oil containing chamomile extract. The Zarbee’s calming massage oil with lavender and chamomile is a great pick and it smells divine. Chamomile is an awesome herb and it is famous for its calming and soothing effect. It will reduce fussiness and distress. You will be able to sleep-train more effectively without long crying episodes.
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